We all have those kind of days. Don't even try to tell me that you haven't had a single bad day in your life. My bad days may not be as frequent as yours (or vice versa) but hey, who's counting? And throughout our good and bad days, we almost always have to deal with it surrounded by people who are either there to help us up or to push us back down.
There are a few principles I live by to make sure that I get along well with others especially on my bad days.
1) I think we should all learn to know when to push and when to back off. If a friend is having a good day, go ahead, be happy, have fun, enjoy life as you see fit. But on bad days, well, bad days are tricky. We can give space when and where it is wanted or we can share the pain (after all, what are friends for?), which brings us to...
2) Share each other's moments. Learn how to empathize with other people. Trust me, it goes a long way in forming lasting relationships. I know of some people just have no idea how to deal with other people's pain. They TRY to empathize, to provide comfort but it all just comes out as fake and/or patronizing. Some people get dealt with a shitty hand. Some people don't. That's just a fact of life. But that doesn't give anyone the right to act all high and mighty and pompously make the rest feel even worse than they already do. I hate those people. Yeah, yeah, yeah... People always tell me that I judge too quickly. I can't say that I don't because that would be a lie. It's one of my fatal flaws (and one that has gotten me in trouble so many time but that's a story for another day). Anyway, back to my point. There are those who think that just because they have it all better, it automatically means that they're already so much better than the rest of us. Better? What do you mean by better anyway? Being a decent human being is not measured about the size of your paycheck or your GPA. It's not and I'm sad to be in a world where so much clout is based on these two. We can't all be as rich as Bill Gates nor as smart as Stephen Hawking.
3) Don't feel so sorry for yourself. Just because you think you're in more pain that the person next to you doesn't mean that you are more justified in your pain. Pain is pain, loss is loss, failure is failure... any way you look at it. It isn't a pissing contest to see who's more pitiful, people! I have a friend (and I admire her so much for this) and there are times when we get dealt with really shitty hands. I complain and complain and complain about how much life sucks for me and she's just there trying to comfort me as best as she can. I later found out that she was having a worse day than I was! I felt so ashamed for myself as I pathetically recounted my suck-ass day when, there she was, going through worse things. I wish I could be like her. She wasn't bitter about me ranting to her and everything.
These are just a few things but not any less true.
We can't help but be surrounded by other people. As human beings, we are inherently social. But we should also keep in mind that one of the best ways to get through those awful days is to go through it with friends who will share the pains and losses with you.
Got those kinds of friends? Good for you.
I know, because I have them, too! :)
There are a few principles I live by to make sure that I get along well with others especially on my bad days.
1) I think we should all learn to know when to push and when to back off. If a friend is having a good day, go ahead, be happy, have fun, enjoy life as you see fit. But on bad days, well, bad days are tricky. We can give space when and where it is wanted or we can share the pain (after all, what are friends for?), which brings us to...
2) Share each other's moments. Learn how to empathize with other people. Trust me, it goes a long way in forming lasting relationships. I know of some people just have no idea how to deal with other people's pain. They TRY to empathize, to provide comfort but it all just comes out as fake and/or patronizing. Some people get dealt with a shitty hand. Some people don't. That's just a fact of life. But that doesn't give anyone the right to act all high and mighty and pompously make the rest feel even worse than they already do. I hate those people. Yeah, yeah, yeah... People always tell me that I judge too quickly. I can't say that I don't because that would be a lie. It's one of my fatal flaws (and one that has gotten me in trouble so many time but that's a story for another day). Anyway, back to my point. There are those who think that just because they have it all better, it automatically means that they're already so much better than the rest of us. Better? What do you mean by better anyway? Being a decent human being is not measured about the size of your paycheck or your GPA. It's not and I'm sad to be in a world where so much clout is based on these two. We can't all be as rich as Bill Gates nor as smart as Stephen Hawking.
3) Don't feel so sorry for yourself. Just because you think you're in more pain that the person next to you doesn't mean that you are more justified in your pain. Pain is pain, loss is loss, failure is failure... any way you look at it. It isn't a pissing contest to see who's more pitiful, people! I have a friend (and I admire her so much for this) and there are times when we get dealt with really shitty hands. I complain and complain and complain about how much life sucks for me and she's just there trying to comfort me as best as she can. I later found out that she was having a worse day than I was! I felt so ashamed for myself as I pathetically recounted my suck-ass day when, there she was, going through worse things. I wish I could be like her. She wasn't bitter about me ranting to her and everything.
These are just a few things but not any less true.
We can't help but be surrounded by other people. As human beings, we are inherently social. But we should also keep in mind that one of the best ways to get through those awful days is to go through it with friends who will share the pains and losses with you.
Got those kinds of friends? Good for you.
I know, because I have them, too! :)
