Emphasis on the was.
The thing I realized today is that, whether you make each day worth your damn while or not, time will pass and you can never get it back. What happens happens and as much as you might wish that it would, it won't bend for you. No matter how crappy your day turns out and you just want it to end, or no matter how great it is that you wish it won't end at all, the clock will keep on ticking. Reminding you that it won't wait for you to get your shit together.
Everyday, I see people trying to plot out their days, their hours; every damn minute of their day is scribbled down in a planner or a notebook. I used to want to be like them. I envied their ability to keep their lives together, organize their days, to plot out what they do today, tomorrow, next week. I used to envy them that.
Isn't it ironic? People spend so much of their time and energy planning their days in an effort to make their time worthwhile when in fact, every time they sit down to carefully plot their schedules, they lose so much of the precious time the wanted to cherish. It's a shame, really... and it's a shame that I share.
I may seem to live inside my own bubble these days. Sometimes, I wonder. Where do I go from here? My life seems to be in a constant state of misdirection. And then I realize that there is more to life than a list of times and dates on a piece of paper.
Spontaneity. It makes life more interesting. So many people plan their lives so much that they forget to live it. I can't tell you how to live your life. But what I do know is that living is being alive. It's living on that constant edge of uncertainty... in not knowing what tomorrow brings. It's not being afraid to let life flow at it's own pace instead of controlling it. Because you can't. The more you try to control it, the more that it confines you and the next thing you know, you're working an 8-to-5 dead end job, doing the same thing today as you did yesterday... and the day before that... and the day before that... and will probably be doing the same old routine all over again tomorrow.
That's not living. Not for me, at least.
Be spontaneous. Be creative. Be ALIVE.
That's what makes each tick of that clock worthwhile.